At the very core, you suffer because you grasp at emotions by identifying with them – you seek the positive ones which are triggered through various activities e.g. ‘achievement’ ‘compliments’ etc. the problem is, when you don’t get enough of these positive doses, you suffer – you’ve become addicted to them. so not only do you need them to feel good, a lack of them makes you feel bad!
disidentify from your emotions – i.e. know they’re NOT you, you merely have them, or more accurately, witness their processes.
how to do this?
by understanding this: the object is always separate from the subject. When you observe something, you’re not that thing. when you observe your body, you’re not your body, the same is true for your mind/emotions.
the more you do this, the better you’ll get at it and less you’ll become affected by the ups and downs of your mind/emotions – you’ll simply watch the storm as it occurs, you learn to respond rather than react.
Why this is game-changing?
this may at first sound ‘woo woo’ or just a bit far out and impractical, but this is the most practical thing there is.
what’s stopping you, in almost any endeavour you seek to progress in – is your attachment or aversion to certain emotions – usually referred to as ‘comfort zone’ – if you detach this attachment, there will be nothing to stop you. Whether it be fear, guilt, shame, anxiety etc. that’s the real impediment towards your goals.
Say, when you’re feeling fear – if you identify with it, you’re carrying it with you and it becomes very heavy. But if you watch it, you notice the ‘gap’ where you don’t have to act AS it, but act as YOU (the observer) choose.