You are a playing a character in your own movie. The script you’re going off is based on your beliefs as well as your desires.
Your current beliefs are based on the choices you made in the past, many of them before you could speak or rationalise while your brain was still in its early development.
Without getting into the nitty-gritty on the topic, here’s the gist:
During childhood, you have an egocentric point of view, you think your point of view is THE point of view and you think now means always thus you form a faulty template of how you expect others to treat you. For example, if you were stigmatised for speaking up, you may grow up to be shy about expressing yourself.
Furthermore, as your cognitive abilities were also in their early developmental phase, they were far from accurate. Coupled with the egocentric point of view, you often had skewed thoughts stemming from this. For example, say one of your parents was always working, you were more likely to interpret this as somehow your fault, thinking they don’t love you enough and thus grow up to have low self-esteem/worthiness issues.
The good news is you can change this. You can re-write your script.
The script (your beliefs) is a programme on your computer (body-mind) just like on a computer, a programme can be altered/deleted, the same is true for your body-mind.
To change your beliefs you have to change your behaviour. “It easier to act your way into a new type of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting”
So you have to change your behaviour consciously in order to match the belief you’d like to have. Whatever you’d like to be… confident/rich/kind etc, imagine how that version of you would behave, then act it out!
This will be uncomfortable of course. The priority for you brain is to keep you safe, rather than to thrive. To your brain, anything familiar is the default setting for ‘safe’, no matter how maladaptive it may be because as long as you’re alive, its all good.
Therefore, any changes in behaviour introduces new and unfamiliar risks so your brain will initially reject it. However, life itself is risky, to be alive is to expose yourself to risk so do it anyway.
Actors do this, they embrace a new character with ease through tools such as method acting.
So can you!
If you behave and think in accordance to a certain belief for long enough, that will become your new belief. This is because thought pattern and behaviour are the only things that sustain a belief.
Before you say it’s being “fake” it’s no more fake than you’re being right now, the only difference is the length of time you’ve been doing it for.
If you had your current world view while in your childhood, you’d understand that how you were treated is not an indicator of your worth or how you will be treated in the future. You can choose that perspective now and stop behaving from your childhood perspective.
So whatever you’ve been putting off, the kind of person you’d like to be, don’t wait Start Now! Although it may be painful to change, regret is worse “if pain is acute, then regret is chronic”
You can choose to be the best version of yourself.
So why not choose it? You chose this.